August 2012
me: ugly people exist to make pretty people stand out
me: so that's my contribution to society
me: you're welcome
galifianafuck:
leevanlee:
barbieisahoe:
when you write a sentence and it rhymes
why is his hands black and his face is white
because he’s half black and half white WHAT DO YOU THINK ALBERT EINSTEIN
A Gordon Ramsay poem
gordonramsaypoetry:
All of your risottos are the worst risottos I’ve ever met.
i hate when someone is pretty and also funny like stop that you only get one
valerieparker:
girlwiththekey:
valerieparker:
alfredtheherothatswho:
I THREW A KID IN THE WELL
DONT ASK ME ILL NEVER TELL
I WILL REGRET THIS IN HELL
BUT HE WAS IN MY WAY
I’LL TRADE YOUR SOUL FOR A WISH
DAMNATION AND SIN FOR A KISS
I WASN’T LOOKING FOR THIS
BUT YOU WERE IN MY WAY
YOUR GLARE WAS HOLDIN’
RIPPED SPLEEN, SKIN WAS ROLLIN’
DARK NIGHT, BLOOD WAS FLOWIN’
WHERE YOU...
pleaseremembermefondly:
charlisheen:
you know what i want to know
how the fuck did mr salt and mrs pepper make a fucking cinnamon shaker for a baby
solve that mystery steve
THAT IS PAPRIKA YOU IGNORANT SLUT
louitsgottabeyou:
Remember when Troy didn’t want any of his friends to know he liked to sing so he broke into a song in the middle of their practice?
ricardo1470:
parasailin-sarahpalin:
if you call me gay one more time i swear to god i will suck your fucking dick
Nice
Watchmodmad:
We interrupt your usual schedule to bring you a very small pig descending a set of stairs.
christianmingle:
one time i was in a pringles ad and all the kids from my school found it and people started making it their profile pictures and printing it out and calling me pringle boy
it was a rough month
rupindah:
If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say, “Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot”, you are wasting everybody’s time.
oh-sn4p:
i bet you the founder of bing uses google
fewfoundglory:
click and drag
u now have an actual ghost haunting ur dash ooo
ifyoucarryonthisway:
i honestly hope im still wearing band shirts when im 50 like i really dont wanna be that middle aged woman wearing brown sandals and khaki capris and a pink polo please god anything but that
graystripe:
do you ever get like this random pain in your boob and it feels like heart attack or something
is it rude to kill yourself in the middle of class
assiest:
you can’t spell thug without hug
my sister: when is anne frank gonna write a second book her first one was pretty good
bagelchips:
shoutout to the kid that whispers the answer to you when the teacher calls on you but you weren’t paying attention
Watch
h0odrich:
readmor:
waterblender:
readmor:
TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTTLE STAR
HOW IWONDER WHERE U R
UP ABOVE THE WORLD SO HIGH
HIGHER THAN A MOTHERFUCKA
friend: you know you shouldn't write on your skin with a pen like that, you can get ink poisoni-
me: o-OH MY GOD
I CAN SEE THE LIGHT
THE INK IS SEEPING INTO MY VEINS CALL THE POLICE
TELL MY PARENTS I LOVE THEM
Watch